Reflections

Four years ago today I made a decision to change my life. I quit smoking Crack cocaine. I had quit previously for a couple of years when I met my sons father he took me back out for a few months. On the morning of February 7th, 2009 I looked at myself on the floor of my room and decided I needed to take my life back again. I haven't touched it since. I feel amazing saying that. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do for myself. The first time I quit in 2006 I was pregnant with Jevan. His name actually means Life, (the proper spelling being Jeevan) The reason I gave him this name was because we gave each other life. I was scheduled to terminate his pregnancy because I had been using we were concerned there may be problems with him. I am pleased to say that he is an amazing, smart, incredible kid. I made the choice to keep him and get my butt into treatment instead. We saved each others life. The second time I quit I didn't know it yet but I had conceived Jaxan that morning. I just knew I had to quit. I was not liking the person I was becoming again, the effect it was having on me and my children and my family. I have never looked back and have successfully removed anyone who uses from my life including Jaxan's father. I am sad that my boys do not get to see their fathers but I am not sad that they are removed from that life. I will remove them from their fathers 1000 times over to make sure they are safe. I talk about my past but I do not live there as that is not my life anymore and I love my life today! I would not have made it if it weren't for the support of my friends and family and I wan't to thank everyone for being there for me, but most of all I want to thank myself for continuing doing it for myself! Way to go!