Welcome

This is my first post on my blog. I wanted to start a blog to write down what I experience as a mom of 4 boys 3 of which are 5 and under right now. My oldest is Jorian, he turned 13 in September, still hard to believe I have a teenager. My next oldest is Jevan, he is 5 but will be six next week, he is the one I have to remind myself that he is still 5 as he is very strong minded and strong willed. After that I have Jaxan, he just turned 3 in October. He was born with a cataract in his right eye and is blind in that eye and we are working on potty training right now. I am happy to say he pretty much has it down pat already after only 3 months of working steady at it. Finally I had Jensan 3 months ago on October 4th. We are all adjusting to life with a new baby in the house. He is nursing and the other boys tend to want my time while he is feeding so I have to work out how to help them and snuggle them while I have a baby on the breast. That is where Chase comes in, he is my partner, and although he is not the father of Jensan from the day he was born he said that he would be the only father that baby would know. He has been amazing at taking care of me and the babies for the last few months but now he is ready to go back to work and I will be left to take care of the babies. Oh my how am I going to do this? Should be easy right? I have done this before..I am hoping to use this blog as a place to right down what works and what doesn't work. As a mother I know all about mommy brain and how we tend to forget things, I am finding out how differently each child needs to be parented for each of their strengths and weaknesses and how i need to grow and learn what I need in order to be a better parent. I have already grown so much as a person, giving up crack cocaine 4 years ago and meth 7 years ago and now deciding to take my life to places I have never been before, places I never would have let myself dream of. Growing up being abused in every way shape or form I never would have imagined what real love felt like for myself or my kids. But finding it in my kids and in my partner is the most amazing feeling in the world, I want to share that feeling with others that is why this is called mommy kisses and hot chocolate because as a mom I have come to find out that nothing is better at making us feel better than mommy kisses and hot chocolate and I wanted to share that with you.